Me, Science ‘n Father

“Checkmate!” my friend across me exclaimed. We were sitting in the veranda of the main building referred to as the faculty hall of the Indian Institute of Science with a chessboard between us. The Bangalore evening was as always pleasant, and held a silent promise to eavesdrop on any retention I wished to have from my past.

“Checkmate”, a term to indicate the climax of a battle suddenly seemed to bring a recollection of many other such skirmishes in my life, won with or without strategies and maybe sometimes by sheer determination and stubbornness and disobedience.

I remember, whenever the topics of my career cropped up, me and my father exhausted all our pieces and moves, and the struggle would become a stalemate. The loss at the battle with rooks, horses and bishops might be accepted in good faith but I had now another battle to fight, a serious one. A battle with egos of a man, who still has a strong memory of the hard road which he himself traveled, had contributed significantly to make him look upon a career in science as a waste of time and talent, and hence accordingly he set little value on them. The battle of “NO” and “NONETHELESS” originated since the first time he asked what I really wanted myself to pursue, the resolution that had already infested my mind expressed itself without any hesitation. He was suddenly speechless, maybe he was wondering that he might not have gotten my words correctly or maybe he thought he must have misunderstood by what my idea meant.  When I repeated myself, and explained the plans I had in mind and the moment he realized how serious I was, he exclaimed, “Physics! Pure sciences?!” and he opposed them with blind determination as was characteristic of the majority of the Indian parents. For, they would have already decided upon a career for their child. Their own hard struggle in making their own career has led many to overestimate what they have achieved and as a reason has led to stubbornness in this regard and also a strengthening of their belief that their experiences have placed them in a position to facilitate their child’s advancement in a similar career.

Maybe he wondered whether I was in a sound state of mind to think this way, for he felt, his decisions seemed simple, logical, definite, clear and in his vision, his plans for me was something that was supposed be taken for granted. A gentleman of such a nature, who has risen in life by means of his own hard work and determination and the struggle for existence, the idea of an inexperienced young man allowed making his own decision regarding career, where my future lay concerned seemed to breach his characteristic sense of duty as a parent. And the idea of standing silent and watching as I made plans would have been grave and reprehensible weakness in the exercise of parental authority and responsibility. His concern and longing had been genuine; he wanted me to advance in a career and save myself the tough ordeal he himself had to go through but as the rough corners of youthful crudeness began to wear off, he must have known that his longing has been in vain, for the future had to be otherwise. The seeds of future had been sown long ago and it was a premonition that he could never have foreseen at that time. For the future had to be otherwise.

“Checkmate” my friend repeated again.

“No, Not yet”

For the future had to be otherwise.